Thoughts on Closing Time

Spoilers …

Intended Destination: possibly actually Colchester, UK 2011-ish
Actual Destination: Colchester, UK 2011-ish

Monsters and Wank

Monsters: yes – 6 Cybermen, 1 Cybertmat, 1 baby
Emotional Wank: 4 out of 10 of the last-hurrah-about-to-die type


Something’s attacking people in a department store. Meanwhile, the Doctor drops in on old friend Craig, who’s on a weekend on his own with his baby. While there, the Doctor notices fluctuations in the electricity and disappearances from the store mentioned in the newspaper. To investigate, he gets a job at the store as a toy salesman. When Craig turns up there, the Doctor tries to escort him out, but they accidentally discover a teleport to a Cyberman spaceship. A few questions around the shop turn up reports of a silver rat. They stay after closing to capture the Cybermat, a tool of the Cybermen that collects power and attacks people. Back at the house, while Craig is out, the Cybermat activates and attacks the Doctor and the baby, who flee and get locked outside. It attacks the returning Craig, but the Doctor breaks the door and the two of them subdue the machine. The Doctor, having reprogrammed the Cybermat, returns to the store to seek entry to the spaceship. Finding a tunnel, he finds a ship that crashed centuries ago with six Cybermen who are trying to revive and convert the planet. Craig follows and is captured trying to rescue the Doctor. The Cybermen crush the Cybermat and then try to convert Craig into a Cyber Controller, but the crying of the baby up in the shop causes his emotional processes to reject the conversion. The Doctor uses emotional feedback to attack the Cybermen, exploding them and their ship just as the Doctor and Craig teleport back to the shop. The Doctor vanishes and Craig goes home, to find the Doctor having tidied up the house. During their farewells, Doctor bums some of Sophie’s TARDIS-blue envelopes and Craig gives him a Stetson. The Doctor says an odd goodbye to some neighborhood kids, whose accounts are part of a file River Song is studying just as Madame Kavorian turns up along with two Silents and two Clerics to abduct her, bottle her up into a spacesuit, and place her underwater.


  • “… may have drawn some arrows in the fridge.” Hee!
  • Loving the social awkwardness.
  • Vigorous self-argument. I do that. Never have I personally identified with the Doctor so strongly myself. Generally I’m the one swirling about in the wake of a madman-unrelated-to-any-sort-of-box. Not the actual madman. Woman. Whatever.
  • Lamps and vegetables, heh.
  • Fantastic toy salesman! Best ever!
  • Now loving all the social aptitude. He does that in extremes, doesn’t he? Can’t make a social call, but no problems making friends on the first day on the job.
  • “You’re my baby!” The big gay not-gay love! I squee with Val. It’s just too sweet.
  • I could just go on naming all the comedy goodness in this episode but it’d just be a big narration.
  • Bitey is a fantastic name.
  • Now I know how to spell petrichor.
  • Crotchety monologue. I shouldn’t like it but I do.
  • Their goodbye is just sweet enough without being overpowering.


  • Nonstop lying. The Doctor’s lying like a house afire. Wrong metaphor. Like a rug, like an assertively lying rug. Every word he’s uttering in the first 30 minutes is hideously untrue. This is Rule #1 gone way too far. On second watching, maybe some of this isn’t lying. The part about just visiting anyway, maybe that’s true. Have I gone all suspicious now?
  • Of course, you say “teleport” and they get in a lift where the lights are arranged in a circle, the obviousness is a bit painful.
  • Declaration of love scene. The embarrassment is completely cringing me. Especially the smoochy lips. It’s kind of a relief that on second watching I get to type this text instead of actually paying attention to it.
  • Craig’s means of investigating. Again, embarrasing.
  • Rory looks like a dork. WTF? He can only be cool in the Doctor’s aura or something?
  • The tick-tock song. Hate it a lot.
  • For someone with superhuman strength, the Clerics subdue River pretty handily, don’t they?

Comments and Questions

  • What kind of parents name their kid Alfie? Are they trying to maybe toughen him up because they might just be setting him up for perpetual victimhood. No wonder he prefers Stormageddon. I would also.
  • “Beam-me-up teleport like in Star Trek.” That’s two in a row after, “What’s ‘loser’ in K-K-K-Klingon?” last week.
  • Coincidence, what the Universe does for fun. You’ve just picked my Higher Power out of a lineup. My HP finds pranking by coincidence uproarious.
  • My insides go all hollow when Amy and Rory show up. I just hurt for him, looking at them.
  • “I’ve always believed in all of you, all my life.” He has, hasn’t he? Sometimes we didn’t deserve it.
  • No way does Craig’s head fit into a Cyberman head.
  • So if he’s off to his death now, has it been 200 years since The God Complex or is there something else going on?
  • You know, you’d think River would develop a serious spacesuit phobia and have a really hard time with it in the Library episodes.
  • Hysterically funny. Quite, quite sad. Not a visually stunning episode. I don’t think there’ll be that many finished caps. But definitely enjoyed.


Frankly, my mind is mush. I thought of something on the way home but it fell out of my head again. If I remember, I’ll update or do a new post or something. At any rate, River’s in the water in the Apollo spacesuit so I suppose she’s meant to be in the lake. Although some of the spoiler images I’ve seen showed Silence (Silents?) in aquariums (not aquaria – this is English, not Latin) so she could be there as well. Who knows?

So I suppose Madame Kavorian’s mind wipes are why River didn’t seem to remember busting out of a spacesuit in 1969, if that was indeed her, and it looks to be shaping up that way.

About the trailer … What? No Canton?!  I demand my Canton Everett Delaware III. Also I heard Dorium Maldovar would be back, as this would be a different point in his timeline or maybe a different timeline altogether and he wouldn’t be dead, or dead yet, or something.

Raw Caps: 691 but there’s a larger than average capture-the-moment proportion this time. That’s the sort of occasion when you snap lots in succession in the hope that one will turn out good. The Doctor flapping Sophie’s envelopes is an example. I grabbed tons but probably none will turn out. Darn wiggly Bitey the Cybermat.

As an aside, this computer is complete rubbish and it’s driving me spare. Spare, I tell you. Mental. I may have to correct it. With an axe.

Watch on Amazon:
Closing Time [HD]
Closing Time

Listen to the Blogtor Who Commentary for Closing Time.