Monsters And Wank – A Very Brief Doctor Who Episode Guide – Series 4

Another installment of Monsters and Wank, wherein you can decide just what kind of scary you are ready to see. 

“Partners in Crime”

The Doctor becomes interested in a company whose product seems to magically make fat disappear off a million Britons.  Unbeknownst to him, his one-shot companion bride Donna is also interested.  Hilarity ensues.

Monsters: Not really.
Emotional wank: No.  Well, okay a teensy bit, but it’s really small.


“The Fires of Pompeii”

It’s supposed to be volcano day, but the seers of Pompeii aren’t all that concerned.  Could be their volcano’s been hijacked?

Monsters: Yes.
Emotional wank: Yes.


“Planet of the Ood”

We met the Ood before, on the Impossible Planet.  But where do they come from?  And what’s happening to them to make them red-eyed and extra violent?

Monsters: Be civilized; the Ood are people.
Emotional wank: None of the relationship sort, thanks.


“The Sontaran Stratagem”
“The Poison Sky”

A two-part revisit from a classic Doctor Who opponent – the Sontaran warrior race.  Lots of fighting.

Monsters: The Sontarans are people too.
Emotional wank: Not so very much.


“The Doctor’s Daughter”

Humans vs. fishlike Hath in a bleak world where soldiers are manufactured ready for combat.

Monsters: The Hath are people as well.
Emotional wank: Yes.


“The Unicorn and the Wasp”

A giant wasp, a jewel thief, and a murder mystery with Agatha Christie right in the thick of it.

Monsters: One.
Emotional wank: Very little.


“Silence in the Library”
“Forest of the Dead”

Two parts.  My favorite.  Mysterious depopulation of planet-wide library.  Mysterious archaeologist entirely too familiar with the Doctor.

Monsters: >1,000,000,000,000 of them, but you can’t see them.  Well, okay, you can count the walking skeletons if you want.
Emotional wank: Yes.


“Midnight”

Doctor goes on a bus trip in a hazardous environment.  Humans suck.

Monsters: One, but it’s entirely invisible.  Well, unless you count the humans.  Then it’s more like seven.
Emotional wank: Yes, but of a completely different sort – no relationship drama.


“Turn Left”

Alternate reality story containing new versions of events from previous episodes, focusing on Donna.

Monsters: One, but you don’t get to see it much.
Emotional wank: Not much, but more of this than monsters.


“The Stolen Earth”
“Journey’s End”

Two-part story.  Daleks again, only much more powerful and scarier.  Their super-creepy creator has been resurrected from the Time War and they can unmake reality.

Monsters: Yes.
Emotional wank: Lots.